Wedding invitation: galateo and modernity

There is great excitement among brides because the time has finally come to announce the date of the wedding, but moving between rules of etiquette, bon ton and new trends is not easy.

Etiquette dictates that invitations should be sent two months before the wedding, although it is advisable to inform guests well in advance, especially in the case of destination weddings. For this reason, it is increasingly common to announce the date and location of the wedding with a save the date, perhaps with a link to the wedding website where guests can find all the detailed information and can therefore organise themselves in good time.


But what should you write in your wedding invitations?

Let's start with the elements that traditionally make up wedding invitations.


Wedding participation

The wedding participation is the actual announcement and contains information about the ceremony. Traditionally, it is the bride and groom's parents who announce the wedding, although this custom has fallen into disuse as the bride and groom are increasingly living together and inviting guests themselves.

The layout of the invitation is a real code that communicates much more than what is written on it.

Etiquette dictates that parents should be the ones to invite, as traditionally they are the ones who actually organise and pay for the wedding. In accordance with the rules of good manners, the bride's family is indicated on the left and the groom's on the right.

Nowadays, the protagonists of a wedding are the bride and groom from the moment the wedding is organised, and often the couple have been living together for some time, which is why it is more appropriate for the bride and groom to invite themselves and not their families.

This is the first question that I am often asked: should the bride's name go first or the groom's?

In traditional invitations and following etiquette, we find the groom's name on the left, because it is the father of the bride who gives his daughter's hand in marriage. However, according to etiquette, the unmarried woman must be on the left and the man on the right, and etiquette also dictates that the woman should be named first... so there is some confusion, and it is becoming increasingly common for printers to propose the bride's name first and then the groom's.

We can say that today neither of these two formulas is incorrect, but if we want a more traditional and formal wedding, it is advisable to insert the groom's name first.


Top-tip: sometimes the wedding announcement alone is used to extend participation in the ceremony to people who for various reasons the bride and groom do not wish to invite to the reception.


The wedding invitation

The invitation is a separate card that specifies where the celebrations following the ceremony will take place and therefore suggests that the recipient is also invited to the reception and not just the ceremony.


Top tip: when the location of the ceremony and the location of the reception are the same, the invitation and the invitation are on the same sheet and cannot be considered an invitation to the ceremony alone.


If I want to give more information

A separate card containing the wedding list information, a small map with directions to the location and the card for the confirmation of participation in the reception can be added to complete the whole.

You can also enrich the wedding invitation with a photo of yourself, perhaps taken during the engagement photo shoot, or with a quote that you feel is particularly personal to you.

Top-tip: although it's now completely out of fashion, putting your bank account number in place of a traditional wedding list is not the most etiquette suggestion: to get around this obstacle and at the same time avoid finding fifty silver frames among your wedding presents, why not create a wedding website with all the information about the event, including the wedding list?

You can then indicate the link on your wedding invitations and achieve your goal while maintaining elegance.


The envelope and paper

Invitations and invitations are always delivered closed in an envelope.

From the classic white or ivory envelope in 16x22cm format, recent years have seen a flourishing of sizes, colours and closures and you will find a wide choice between the traditional format, the slightly smaller and more delicate 13x18, the square or the more elongated rectangle.

Even the choice of paper used ranges from the always wonderful Amalfi paper, the traditional handmade or hand-coloured paper, to the very modern Plexiglas.

The stars of the new wedding invitation trends are the closures: from the ever-popular sealing wax to pastel-coloured silk ribbons.


The invitation is much more than a wedding announcement: it is a real preview of the style of your wedding, so have fun with it!


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Special thanks to all the photographers for giving a "forever" to my commitment:
Cristiano Ostinelli Photographer; Fotomartiz ; Ray Clever; Daniele Torella Photographer; Lucia Brusetti Photographer; Luca Rajna Progetti Fotografici; Pictures of wedding; Piero D’Orto

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